ALPHA SKAGGI
WHAT TICKLES MY FANCY... (ADULTS ONLY, minors please unfollow) Transman, queer, pan, poly. Sadistic top. Single tail whips and pain are my main kinks. Happy to chat and share experiences. Mentoring on KIK @alpha_skaggi
Once Again, Abusers are not Cardboard Villains but They are still Abusers
I've said this before, but I just woke up and I have to get ready for work, so I don't feel like taking the time to find the post about it.
Reminder: Not all gaslighters are cardboard, black-hatted villains, twirling their mustachios and stroking their white cats in their uncomfortable looking armchair, plotting the deliberate crazy-making of their intended victims. I'd even venture to say that *none* of them are.
We are taught that gaslighting is an appropriate method for dealing with intimate connections who do not behave as we wish. This is not limited to romantic partners either. The example I use is that of a tired and harried parent trying desperately to get their child to eat their vegetables. The toddler says "I don't like broccoli!" and the parent says "yes you do, now eat it!"
That's gaslighting. That parent is attempting to overwrite the child's feelings by telling the child what they feel. In the grand scheme of things, this one specific example is minor - I wouldn't call the parent "abusive" over this. But we learn from a very early age that we can tell other people what they feel, and we can insist that we know them better than they know themselves.
We also all have shitty memories. Yes, even you with the really good memory, you have a shitty memory too. Our brains suck. They do not record reality like a video recorder. They record *feelings* and *impressions* and general concepts. And then, when you re-tell something later, that re-telling overwrites the original memory and you remember the event as you just re-told it instead of as it was.